Authenticity in the Adventure

Being transparent and authentic is difficult, actually it can be downright scary. But apart from choosing transparency in a friendship or relationship, there is emptiness. Sharing, holding heart secrets, being real about life, all build trust. Such friendships are great blessings. They feel safe, you feel understood, and you feel known. These kind of relationships do not come about in an instant. You don’t just sit down and begin sharing from the depths of your heart. These relationships take varying degrees of time to develop.

I have learned that it is very important to be intentional about keeping the Lord first in my life in the quest of building deep friendships. God truly is a jealous God. He wants our hearts to be satisfied in Him alone. I feel that at times the Lord has withheld deep friendships from me because He wanted me to be faithful in honoring Him first. I know in the past I have made idols out of friends, I mean, I chose a person over the Lord without realizing it or intending for it to be that way. I would seek their advice, their help, and/or their understanding, and bypass the Lord.

I have seen that as I am diligent about keeping the Lord first, He has blessed me with gifts of new and deep friendships. This may or may not be true of you and your life. The Lord deals with each one of us individually. He knows how to work with us, how to get our attention, and how to draw us back to Him when we seem to stray. He knows what needs to be taken away or regulated just as a parent knows what is not helpful or healthy for a child.

The Lord also knows exactly what our hearts need. He brings people into our lives, people who we can minster to or help in specific ways as He has gifted us, as well as, people who can bless us with their giftedness.

He knows what is in and on our hearts that needs comfort or holding. He knows our experiences, and how by sharing about those experiences we can find encouragement. He knows how in His wisdom a person truly may lead us to new understanding, maybe understanding that will push us forward in growing in Him.

He hears our prayers of emptiness, loneliness, and neediness. He meets us in the pain of those with community, sisters in Christ or brothers in Christ. The Lord is faithful to meet each of our needs in ways so amazing, in ways that bring our hearts so much satisfaction. But the glory in this all goes to Him because these friends are blessing of His love. Such authenticity deepens our relationships and brings us belonging, they bring us sisterhood or brotherhood.

If you are struggling with not having a close friend or a tribe of trusted ones, ask the Lord to show you His amazing knowledge of the neediness of your heart, ask Him to bring you the blessing of a friend or put you in a group of friends..
The Lord wants us to be in relationship, of course with Him first, and then with the people He puts around us and those He brings into our lives. He cares deeply about the needs of our hearts and He will give you the gift of deep authentic relationship in this adventure we call life.

Be blessed and be a blessing!

 

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Love in the Loneliness

Until I find community enough in being with Jesus first, the entire restaurant wouldn’t suffice the aching that loneliness hungers to fill.”
Choosing Real Bekah Jane Pogue

Loneliness is very common. Loneliness is a neediness within that eats away at your heart like a cancer.

Loneliness is defined as a “sadness because one has no friends or company.” I think that at first glance this definition may seem true, but when you really think about it, loneliness can be present even in a crowd. It is the depth of connection with a spouse or a friend that bridges the gap. You don’t feel lonely when you feel understood, known, loved, and you’re your heart is safe.

I learned through my depression that the pain and neediness of my heart cried out for understanding and love. My depression left me feeling as if I was drowning, suffocating, and overwhelmed with so much pain. I mostly pushed people away, but when I found that my neediness wouldn’t annihilate another, then I would cling. It was through this that I learned how needy I really was, I became aware of the emptiness and loneliness of my heart. I recognized how much I had been hiding, how deeply my real self was really buried.

It was in the midst of learning these things, in the midst of my clinging to another in hopes for healing, that the Lord made me to know that He wanted me to give Him my neediness.
It is so easy for us to run to others with our needs even when we know that the Lord is the One with the power to heal, to comfort with His love, to give understanding, and to lead in His perfect wisdom.

The Lord wants us to run to Him with our neediness and loneliness. It was when I began to pour out my heart to the Lord, and really give Him my neediness that my healing began. He desired me to see Him as my greatest need, the All-Sufficient One, my Healer.

Life can just be lonely because of the mundane of everyday. We get so busy with all we try to do that our lives may be spent in living solitary lives. If that is where you are at, Pogue suggests that “maybe solitary isn’t something we need to run away from” instead she suggest it may be our cue of to run to the Lord.

Loneliness can flood your heart throughout many moments of life for many very different reasons, the loss of friendship, the death of a loved one, moving away, isolation, or divorce. It is in these times we need to cry out to the Lord. Maybe it’s just the day and the way it’s going down, or maybe it’s the place you are in life right now, that the string of days, weeks, or even months leave you feeling lonely. Cry out to God. He hears and He answers our prayers. He deeply cares about the neediness in our hearts.

Remember, after you give the Lord the neediness of your heart to look for His answer. It is easy to miss His answers when one’s mind is set on wanting the prayer answered in our own specific way. I share this thought out of my own experience, because it was what happened with me in my depression. I knew what I felt my heart needed and I prayed for the Lord to do it my way. Instead, He showed me His way repeatedly, He wanted me to trust Him with my neediness. He wants to be the One we run to, He wants to be the One to meet our needs in the perfect ways that come out of His wisdom and love.

So, from our knees in prayer, we must get up and look to see what He is doing, where He is leading, who He is bringing or in some cases, whom He has already brought that we have missed. He knows who He has put in your life, or wants to put in your life. He knows the purpose for which He brings them.

I believe that as He sees and hears us bringing the neediness of our hearts, He will lead us to the quenching of the thirst in our loneliness through relationship with Himself, as well as with specific people He puts in community around us. He has a beautiful way of touching our neediness with His love so specific to our personal desires. He truly satisfies our hearts when we give Him the need and trust Him for the answer.

Are you lonely today? Call out to the Lord with your need.

Do you know someone who is lonely? Ask the Lord if there is a way to meet that person with His love.

The Lord is always near and never will abandon or forsake us. In moments of loneliness cling to Him and watch Him work! He is at work because He loves you!

Knowing Hope in the Heartache

“Pain is the most unchosen catalyst to an authentic faith journey” Choosing Real by Bekah Jane Pogue
It is often easy to go through the motions in our faith-walks until pain comes into our lives and we know deep desperation in our hearts. Pain truly is the catalyst that sends us crying out to our Lord, begging Him to meet us, to help us, and to heal us.

Recently, there have been many deaths within my family and circle of friends. There also has been much serious illness touching the lives of loved ones. It has been a time to dig deep into the Lord’s truths to search for promises that bring the light of hope in dark times. It also has been a time of searching for the right words to say to those experiencing the loss of someone dear, or experiencing great pain in sickness.

As I laid in bed this morning, the room darkening curtains making it pretty near black, I thought to myself how much the room was just like a hopeless heart. My heart will remain hopeless, just as the room remains dark without the curtains being opened. The room brightens with the light of open curtains and my heart receives hope as it takes in the Light of Truth from God’s Word.

God’s Word is a light for the darkness and it is hope for the despairing heart. He can meet us in that dark place. He met me in the pain of my deep debilitating depression, in the grieving of losses of loved ones, in the heartbreak of the gradual ripping away of my dad suffering with Alzheimer’s, and through many other times of despair.

Knowing the hope from the Light of the Word of the Lord made all the difference in the world throughout those times. And knowing this great hope gives me a responsibility to share it. Because of what the Lord has allowed in my life I can share my pain and His compassion. I can be open about how He reached into the dark places of my heart and brightened the blackness with hope. I can reveal how He opened my eyes to the realization that my neediness, pain, and fear are all avenues to learning deeper intimacy with Him. These painful paths all led me to know Him in new ways and more deeply. They led me to learn different facets of His love and His character. And growing in knowing more led me to trusting Him more.

Who do you know who is grieving, going through a difficult time, in physical pain, or emotional turmoil? Consider how you can share the Light of hope we have in Jesus and His Word. Bring light into darkness and hope into despair.

It seems that just going along in life when everything is rolling smooth, we fail to learn to trust. We, too often, depend on ourselves, our own strength, and our own wisdom. So, the Lord allows pain to intrude in order to help us grow in intimacy with Him.

Truly His ways are higher than my ways. I would do it differently. I would prefer to avoid the pain, but my Heavenly Father knows what is best and He is teaching me to depend on Him. He is teaching me to know hope in the midst of heartache.

Is the hope found in Him brightening your heart today? I pray that you will know the light of His truth, the hope it brings, the comfort of His presence, and the warmth of His love.