Growing in Grace through Soul Friendships

Are you growing in grace?

Do you have friendships in your life that draw you closer to the Lord?

The most important goal in life as a believer in Jesus Christ is to grow in knowing Him more and becoming more like Him. So, if that is your goal in life, then it only stands to reason that you would desire to have friends with similar feelings and wants.

We end up with many different relationships in life, and there is a range to the depth of intimacy our relationships reach. The people you are closest to have the greatest influence on you and you on them. Their influence can be for good or for the worst. This helps us recognize why it is so important to make wise decisions or choices especially in our closest relationships. This is also why I asked if you have friendships that draw you closer to the Lord. Growing in grace should be a top priority and a soul friend can be a great help in that.

You may be wondering at this point what I mean when I say “soul friend.” Soul friend is a term I read about when I was doing a little personal studying on the spiritual disciplines. I was familiar with many of the disciplines mentioned, like meditation, prayer, study, solitude and silence, but I had not heard of that of “soul friendship.”

The following qualities are found in a soul friend, she or he:

  • has an intimate relationship with the Lord
  • lifts you up in prayer
  • shares honestly and truthfully with you
  • listens and empathises with you
  • helps you find your way to the Lord when you are distracted, frustrated, hurting, angry, or overwhelmed
  • helps you to hear and know the Lord’s truth about your situation

Mindy Caliquire says that a “spiritual friend” or “soul friend” helps us sit with God and helps us pay attention to Him.

We can be real with a soul friend, confess our problems, sins, share our needs, and be fragile enough to say ‘I need help.’ These kinds of friendships take time to form and develop, and often, I believe, they really come in answer to prayer.

I have been blessed with three soul friends in my life.  Three women who I have known varying lengths of time, but have grown deep with each because of our sharing. These friends do not know each other, they may have only heard me mention the others names. In each of these relationships our sharing with one another is all about honesty, asking probing questions, encouraging each other to seek wisdom, and praying for each other as we would pray for ourselves.

Each one of these three friends is a person I can share my deepest pain with. I can share the part of myself that I rarely tell anyone about. The pain that gets triggered at the most unexpected time, the pain that really makes no sense in the current situation but is all about the hurt of the past. I can be real and share the hurt I feel in a situation, or explain why I reacted. I can explain my reaction as it is connected to my pain, and they will know and connect with me in it. They will reassure me. And it works both ways, I know their inner conflicts and deep hurts, as well as their insecurities and I can be there for them.

Our conversations center around life, how we feel about life, what the Lord is teaching us, and where we are struggling. Our conversations always include how we can pray for each other, sharing Bible verses that touch our hearts, and giving God the glory for what He is doing.

None of us are squeaky clean, on the verge of perfection and knowing it all. We all are struggling in our own ways and we all need help for this journey called life.

We each need at least one soul friend in our lives. There are a couple of verses from God’s Word that come to mind as I share about soul friends. One is Proverbs 27:17:

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. 

A soul friend helps you grow in the things of the Lord, in learning about Him, in learning His Word, in learning about living in Christlikeness. Iron is sharpened.

The other verse is just a couple of verses further into chapter 17 of Proverbs at verse 19:

“Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friends counsel that comes from the heart.”

The “sweetness of a friends counsel,” words spoken in truth and with love are so sweet. Those words connect our hearts in very special ways and keep us coming back to one another for more support, encouragement, and help. And, more importantly, we find our soul friends leading us back to the love of the Lord, to His wisdom, and that is truly irresistable.

If you do not have a soul friend in your life right now, ask the Lord to show you who He desires you to have that kind of relationship with, and let Him lead you in it.  He can and will make it happen, because there is nothing He wants more than for us to be growing in knowing and loving Him as we enjoy His love in others. He wants us to be growing in grace. He answers these prayers in amazing ways! You won’t be disappointed.

Next post we will consider Growing in Grace through Meditation, Reflection, and Journaling.

12 thoughts on “Growing in Grace through Soul Friendships

  1. I’ve never heard of Soul Friendship before. What a wonderful term. I haven’t had very many soul friendships. I’ve had very close friends, but they didn’t always bring me closer to the Lord. When I started growing deeper in my relationship with God, I looked around and I didn’t have one friend who was headed in the same direction. It was hard. The few friends I had were good people! Really good people! They just weren’t growing in God, nor did they have a desire to. I realize more than ever how important these soul friendships are! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us at the Live Life Well Linkup!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder! It is so important to have those great friends who draw us closer to the Lord. This life is hard and we are never called to go it alone. I am thankful for the friends that He has brought to my path in this life.

    Thanks for linking up at #LiveLifeWell



    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is such a tender look at friendship, and I love the opportunity it gives me to think about a couple of dear “soul” friends who have been in my life for so many years. I’ve never really thought about them in this way, but it’s true. I had a birthday celebration with one last night, so the timing of this is perfect! Thank you for sharing on Fresh Market Friday!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I love that term – soul friendships. I have a few of them and they have helped me grow, but the big thing is staying in the Word.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, so true. Central to growing in grace is staying in the word. The soul friendships we have are very special gifts from the Lord! Thank you so much for stopping by! Blessings to you!


    1. Yes, God gives us very beautiful gifts in the form of soul friendships. How very precious that the Lord uses your friends who have passed on even now to help you grow. He is an amazing God! Thank you for stopping by! May the Lord continue to bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Great topic and one close to my own heart. There’s nothing like a relationship birthed by God. I’ve had a select few of those friendships myself. Iron sharpening iron indeed! Enjoyed the visit today via #faithonfire.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, so glad that you stopped by. Soul friends truly are gifts from the Lord. I am glad that you have been blessed with friendships like these. We all need to be encouraged in our walk with the Lord. Blessings to you.


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