Relinquishing Control and Finding Peace

The correlation between my fears and my need to be in control recently became apparent to me. But, I am happy to say that I am finding peace as I am learning to relinquish control. Actually, it comes down to learning to live out the truths of Proverbs 3:5-6.

This is what that Proverbs says in the Amplified version of the Bible. “Trust in and rely confidently in the Lord with all your heart. And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him and He will make your paths straight and smooth (removing obstacles that block your way.)”

Wow, what a beautiful promise! And, what a familiar promise. It is one we read often, and read over without thinking about because of its familiarity. I wonder how many truths of God’s Word I totally miss as I read my Bible. And in missing them I miss out on the amazing blessing He promises. But God is faithful and true to His Word!  He is showing me the magnitude of His love for me as He works in my life and shows me His personal presence as well as His omniscience regarding what I need. I stand in awe, thoroughly amazed at what He is doing!

Trust! Trust is very hard for many of us because of previous hurts, betrayals, or whatever is at the bottom of our fears. Yet, God is trustworthy and I am finding that as I reach for Him in trust He meets me with His faithfulness.

I knew something had to change because the stress in my life was too much. I needed to give it to God to take care of. I needed to let Him be in control. Oh, it’s not like I hadn’t prayed about it before, because I had given Him my frustration and overwhelm often, and I had told Him how to best work out the whole situation. But that is not what real prayer is, He wants me to rely on Him and let Him take control. So this time, out of complete desperation, I gave it to Him. I stopped meddling and trying to control the outcome. I told Him that I can’t deal with it anymore, You have to take care of it, and as I did I felt deep release within.

I shut my mouth, bit my tongue, stopped complaining,  arguing, ranting and raving. I completely stopped discussing the issue because the more I would think about it and share my frustration the more worked up I would become. Each time an opportunity arose that made me want to make a comment, I chose to abandon the outcome to God. I decided to let God do it His way. I know that is the way it is supposed to work, but I will be honest that is not what I had been doing.

Proverbs 3:5 tells us not to rely on own understanding or insight. That means I am not supposed to try to figure it all out and try to make it work my way. But my understanding of this particular situation said that there is a time limit and it needs to be done now. My insight says you can do it if you plan it all out. Just keep pushing and working at it. The problem was, it isn’t my stuff to control. I cannot physically make the other person act on it and forcing the issue has not worked. So the next best option, which is really the best option always, was to fully give it to the Lord to work out.

This verse is very clear, I am not only to “rely,” I am also to “acknowledge” His Lordship, and “recognize” His presence and power over the situation. He needs to be on the throne, not me. So, when I felt the urge to control, I had to tell my anxious heart that the Lord God of this universe had it in His control, He is present with me and has the power to bring the solution to pass. It all became a moment-by-moment prayer that I said. I needed to remind myself Who God is. I needed to develop greater trust in Him.

So, I lived out the trust part, even though it was a struggle for me, and then the blessing came. The blessing came and I have to admit that I did not even recognize it at first. Amazingly, I saw a heart-change in the other person. When I stopped pushing and controlling suddenly she moved into action. She recognized the things that needed to be done and responded positively when help was offered.

My path truly became straight and smooth. God removed the obstacles blocking the way, namely her refusal and constant disagreement. And my constant griping had stopped also. Now my path is one of loving support as I am given opportunity to do so, not stress-producing control.

The stress in the relationship has lessened a great deal.  I don’t have to take care of it all. And I am not trying to “people-please” or earn love. I am accepting the relationship for what it is and seeking to know God’s love for me in deeper ways.

Okay, so it is a start, and I know it is only one area that I have tried to control, there are others. But this one was one of the greater stress-producers in my life! So I am finding peace in my heart. It is in the relinquishing, in loosening my tight grip, in giving God space to work, this is where I see Him making changes. This is where I see Him giving me the answers necessary and in those answers I am growing in trusting Him and finding great peace.

Just now, as I was writing this post, the phone rang and I learned of another open door to the necessary solution. God is at work in this stressful situation. He is securing an outcome in a way that will be perfect no matter the timing, it will be available whenever we are ready. Wow, what an amazing God we serve! And how beautiful it is to see the truths of His promises at work in my life!

We can trust Him and believe Him at His Word!  His love is real. I know I knew these things intellectually, but now once again I know them experientially. He is drawing me back from my path of independence to full dependence on Him and this is where I want to live.  I hope you will join me here, there is such great peace.

Thank you Lord that You know the way and are patiently gracious with control-freaks like me. Thank you Lord for teaching me more of how to trust You and for showing me Your amazing faithfulness! You are an amazing God and I give You all of the praise! Amen!

 

 

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Relinquishing Control and Finding Peace

  1. It is amazing what God can do…when we give up our illusion of control because that’s all it is…& actually allow God’s sovereignty in a situation or relationship isn’t it… 😀

    I am traveling that same path of peace with you Cheryl.
    Jennifer

    Like

    1. Yes, He is showing me when I let Him be in control and I take my hands off, He works things out so perfectly, beyond what I can ask or imagine! The path of peace is the path that I want to stay on. So glad to have you traveling with me!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Giving up control of any given situation is something I struggle with too. Thank you for the wonderful reminder that giving up control to God means release. He is far wiser than I.

    Like

    1. His wisdom is absolutely amazing! He works out things beyond what we can ask or imagine and does it all out of His wondrous love! I have to wonder why I even try to hold onto control? I am glad He works with us throughout life to teach us these great lessons! Thanks so much for stopping by!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this so much! One of the areas God’s been working on most in my heart this summer is the area of trying to control everything around me. May we truly learn to trust!

    Like

  4. Coming to you from the long-time control-freak perspective, and grateful for every reminder that comes my way that says the true path to peace is the discipline of handing everything over to God for His control. You might also enjoy Jennifer Dukes Lee’s new book. I haven’t started it yet, but it’s in my pile, and I think it’s going to be a real game changer for relinquishing control and trusting God.

    Like

  5. Thanks for these encouraging words. It’s much easier for us to read the Proverbs than to put them into practice. This is something I want to do deeper and deeper in my soul: “recognize His presence and power over the situation.” Thanks, Cheryl.

    Like

    1. Thank you for stopping by! Yes, may His Word sink deep into our hearts and souls so that we live it out easily in our lives, just like taking our next breath! Proverbs has so many great lessons to learn and apply! A manual for life as is all of God’s Word! What a great blessing it is!

      Like

  6. Cheryl, I identified with many of your feels expressed so well in this post. When I pray, I picture Jesus, my Shepherd, in the green pasture of the 23rd Psalm…I take whatever concern I have, or person for whom I am interceding by the hand…I walk out to the meadow, the green pasture, and I place my concern, or the hand of the person for whom I am interceding, in Jesus’ hand…knowing that He is sovereign, He loves me, and He loves the person for whom I am interceding more than I do. He has a plan, a hope, and a future for each of us…and I walk away, thanking God for how He is working in my life and in the lives of those for whom I am interceding…experiencing a feeling of peace…positive relinquishment…as Catherine Marshall prayed, “Lord, I trust You…You know what You’re doing…I relinquish my will to Yours.”

    Many blessings to you!

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for sharing that, it is so beautiful. And it is a wonderful way to apply Psalm 23 to daily life! It seems that we all need help to relinquish our wills to Him! So glad you stopped by to share this! Sweet blessings to you!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s