Pouring Out the Hurt in Your Heart

What do you do with the pain, frustration, or anger in your heart?

Psalm 62:8 tells us that we should pour out our hearts to God. When I am feeling upset that is not what I consistently do. But I learned a very important lesson recently, a lesson worth sharing.

I got off the phone, I felt angry and resentful. I felt unappreciated and lost. I kept replaying the conversation in my head. I had an errand to run, but I quickly texted a friend telling her that I needed to talk.  She was unavailable. So, I got in my car and started on my 45 minute drive. As I drove I talked to the Lord, ranting and raving about how frustrated I felt. I told Him I was done, I was so upset.

He immediately spoke to my heart. I must say it wasn’t the comfort I wanted, instead, it was the truth necessary to help me in growing.

Looking back at what happened I realized how the Lord did not want me to pour out my heart to my close friend. He wanted me to tell Him! He had something important that I needed to hear. I still talked with my friend later and she helped me to feel loved and gave me the empathy I needed. I also called my pastor and explained the situation, giving him some background information. He helped me to gain better understanding of what was going on inside of my heart and talked with me about how to move forward. The Lord used both my friend and my pastor to help me and give me what I needed, but in His eyes it was most important that I first heard what He had to say.

I think we often miss out on hearing the truths that the Lord has for us because we so quickly run to others. Maybe we pick up the phone, or run to a neighborhood friend, or talk to a close family member. We share our feelings with others, rather than taking it to the Lord and miss what He has for us.

The truth He told me stung like a slap in the face and it brought me to tears, but it helped me to see why I had reacted as I did. The conversation on the phone triggered feeling memories from events in the past and my anger and hurt came from that place. I didn’t recognize it until the Lord helped me see it. My reaction was selfish and unloving because I was fully focused on what I felt and needed.

The Lord in His omniscience and wisdom knew exactly what it would take to make me see what was happening. And in shaking the foundations of my self-protective walls, the Lord unearthed more work in my heart that I need to be open to doing.

All of this has made me realize the great importance of taking my feelings, neediness, and emotional pain to the Lord in honesty, before I share it with another person. I realize now that the Lord may have a lesson to teach me, or He may want to bring something to my awareness that I have buried, or there could be any number of things He may want to share.

Sheila Walsh talks about sharing from the “cellar of your soul” when praying. I have been doing that sometimes in the morning, but things come up unexpectedly during the day that He also needs to hear about. And when I don’t go to Him I miss out on getting His take and hearing His wisdom.

I realize now that I need to take my reactions and responses to Him throughout the day and talk with Him about them. I may think I have it all under control, I may think I have a clear understanding of what is going on.  I may think I am fully justified in my anger and just be ready to quit. But the Lord sees the big picture, He knows the whole truth about each situation. He knows what I need in order to grow and in order to heal.

What have you buried in your heart that you need to talk with the Lord about?

What relationship is breaking because of hurt feelings and unforgiveness?

Take these to the Lord.

Pour out your heart to Him! And remember to wait for Him to speak to your heart. He knows exactly what we need no matter what the situation or circumstance. We need to take our struggles and desperation to Him. He is always waiting to hear from us and always ready to lead us in wisdom.

 

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Equality at the Cross

Romans 3:23 tells us that “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” 

We find equality at the cross. We find equality because:

  • We all are sinful before a Holy God. Our sin is the reason for our need of a Savior. we all come to Jesus as sinners in need of forgiveness and salvation.
  • We need Him to live through us, because we cannot live this Christian life apart from Him. We cannot live as little Christ’s if not empowered by HIm.
  • There at the cross we all need to surrender our rights and yield to Him as well as to others. Not one of us can do it our way and find that acceptable by God.

The bottom line is we all need God’s grace. We are all guilty apart from His grace. Then why is it that we sometime forget this? Why is it that there are Christians walking away from the church with deep hurts because of what people say and do? Why is so much damage being done in a place that is to be filled with His love?

I ask these questions because of a sadness growing in my heart. I am hearing more and more from other believers about how they have been hurt by their Christian brothers and sisters. Brothers and sisters who have chosen to leave the church because of such deep hurt and feelings of abandonment.

Do we accept the grace the Lord extends to us and then refuse to give it to others?

Jesus tells the parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35) in response to Peter asking how many times one should forgive. This parable tells how a servant whose Lord had forgiven him much (a debt to the equivalent of several million dollars), then turns around and refuses to forgive another servant.

Jesus was painting a pictures of the magnitude of the debt He paid for our sin. He wants us to recognize that, to realize the grace we have received and He commands us to give that same grace to others. He wants us to give grace to those who sin against us or offend us.

Critical and judgmental attitudes hurt many, pushing some away to even question the Lord’s love. Harsh words spoken cause some to leave the church. how this must grieve the Lord.

I know this is a touchy subject. Should we condone sin? How are we suppose to respond? How do we balance grace and truth? God’s truth and God’s grace need to be shared. The problems arise when one gets out of balance. When we either grow legalistic or when we take the cost of grace lightly, either way we can get ourselves into trouble.

We need to remember the truth about our sinfulness, each one of us. We must come daily, sometimes moment-by-moment to the foot of the cross for forgiveness. And we need to remember that the grace given cost Jesus His life. Jesus was given to die for us out of God’s love for us. we have done nothing to earn that grace.

When the Pharisee’s drag the woman caught in adultery before Jesus, He did not condemn her, instead He said that the one without sin should cast the first stone (to begin the stoning as the law required). You can read this account in 1 John 8:1-11.

James 2:10 tells us that if we have broken one commandment, we have broken them all. Jesus wants us to see our own self-righteousness stinks before our holy God. Jesus is our righteousness. He want us to see the sin of others and say, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” Apart from God’s grace who knows what choices we may make. The Lord has shown each of us amazing favor in our lives.

This takes me back to Ann Voskamp in The Broken Way. She said that everyone is just asking “will you love me?” I think that in our need for love, in our love-hunger, we all commit sinful acts. We commit adultery or idolatry each day as we choose something else above the Lord. We seek to find what will fill us and reach for an empty substitute that looks good. But we so often don’t even recognize it, yet another’s sin is very visible to us. And how quickly we make judgments or criticize. We forget that we are not God, we are not able to judge anyone’s heart correctly. Only the Lord can do that. Only God is holy and omniscient.

As a recipient of God’s grace I am called to be gracious as He is gracious.. The parable of the unforgiving servant makes that very clear. The unforgiving one was thrown into prison.

When we choose the way of grace responding to people with love, we give them hope and power to find the right path. We are to share God’s truth in His love, wrapped in the hope of His grace.  We come to the foot of the cross as sinners, our debt paid by Christ, by Him alone.

O Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart please You. for You alone are holy. Help me Lord to share Your truth and Your grace in perfect balance. Do not let me deterr anyone by word or deed but instead may they see You welcoming them. Amen.

We all must return to the Lord daily to confess our sins and keep our relationship right. He does not turn us away but instead we find His grace and love to lead us to repent. May we treat others as He treats us. Do you know of any hurting brother or sister who needs to know the reality of God’s grace in the midst of a difficult ot painful situation? How are you responding to them? What will you do to help them know the truth about His grace? We are equal at the foot of the cross.