A Look at Depression; The Psalmist

Have you been in the depths of depression? Are you dealing with it now? You are not alone.

This month I want to look at the topic of depression, particularly depression in men and women in the Bible. Each post will be centered around one person, this week we will focus on the Psalmist who wrote Psalm 42. Many scholars believe that this may have been David, but they are not sure.

We can get a clear picture of the author’s pain by looking at some of the key verses in this Psalm.

  • verse 3 “Day and night I lived on my tears, taunted all day with “where is your God?”
  • verse 4a “My soul is melting with secret sorrow…”
  • verse 5a “Why art thou downcast O my soul? Why so despairing?”
  • verse 9 “Why hast thou forgotten me? Why must I mourn as foes oppress me?”

Reading through these verses give us a good overview of how the Psalmist is feeling. I know depression in a very visceral way. I lived with it for ten months a number of years ago. I cried for hours, felt incredible hopelessness and despair, I lived with dread, lost my appetite, and slept away much of each day.

So I hear the author clearly here in Psalm 42 when he speaks of his soul melting in secret sorrow, feeling downcast, feeling despair, living on his tears, feeling forgotten, and just feeling alone. It is overwhelming beyond description.

My depression probably came on gradually but in my busyness I pushed it away until it slammed me down hard. I did the things I needed to do.

  • I took medication (which took months to find the right one).
  • I went to counselling for help to get to the bottom of what was going on inside.
  • I wrote endlessly in my journal to get my feelings and thoughts out.
  • I stayed in God’s Word, mostly reading the parts where the authors shared their pain.

But I also did things that were not helpful.

  • I isolated myself by locking myself in a room.
  • I pushed people away.
  • I tried to think of ways to escape the emotional pain (wanting to be numb or dead).
  • I held my feelings of anger in until I exploded.

Psalm 42 informs us that the author was isolated and not able to worship in the temple as he previously had. He was being taunted about the seeming powerlessness and absence of his God. He felt abandoned by the Lord and oppressed by his foes. He felt hopelessness but wisely he did not bury his feelings. He turned his feelings into a prayer of desperation to the One he knew could help him. He felt discarded, he mourned, but in that he knew his need for the Lord.

I knew my need for the Lord in my depression also, but I wanted Him to show up by answering the cry of the neediness in my heart my way.  I looked for and waited for God to do it my way, but God chose not to do it my way. He had a perfect plan. I remained stuck in my stubborn place like the Israelites in the wilderness.

The Psalmist cried out to be able to come to worship as he had before, he cried for the Lord to quiet the taunting and stop the oppression. He thirsted for God in the midst of his despair.

I thirsted for what I thought I needed alongside of needing God. But God knew that I only needed Him. He knew best, despite my cries to have it my way. He showed me the truth of my situation, He helped me see myself.

I, too, was oppressed, I was weighed down and crushed by the unfulfilled needs and sorrow that had long ago been buried. I was taunted by the cries within; the cries that lied about who I was and blinded me to God’s perfect love. I was tortured by the memory feelings that ripped my heart apart with their painful stabs.

When at last I saw the truth about me, and finally chose to stop seeking help my way. I realized how much I needed to fully depend on the Lord. I repented and in my repentance healing began.

Jehovah Rapha is the Great Physician. He heard my cry for Him to do it His way at last, and He healed me. He didn’t just heal me, as if that wasn’t enough, He drew me to deep intimacy with Him in the process.

The Psalmist had it right. He knew his need was God and he thirsted for Him. He sought after quenching from God alone He recognized his depression and asked himself what was wrong. He talked with the Lord about it.

The Psalmist told himself to wait for God. He knew that God alone was his help. It was the Psalmist’s desire to be praising the Lord again.

Depression is very painful and debilitating but in that dark place we can make a choice to seek the Lord, to repent of known sin, and to pray for healing in His way. He is ever faithful and in His perfect way He satisfies our hearts and souls.

If you are going through depression, seek the Lord. Tell Him your pain, and ask Him in a heartfelt prayer for the help you need. He will meet you in the pain and bring you through.

Next week we will look at the depression Elijah suffered, the fear he dealt with, and the exhaustion that overwhelmed him. We will see how the Lord worked in Elijah’s depression and glean wisdom from his experiences.

It is easy to look at the men and women in the Bible thinking that they are superhuman, and beyond what we have to go through, but as we look closely their weaknesses and neediness becomes real. It is in the dark depths of pain, need, and sorrow where we see the strength of the Lord lift them up and help them go on. We can depend on Him to do the same for us today. He is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.

 

 

 

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Grace

Is your heart imprisoned by sin? God’s grace can set you free.

What role does grace play in your life? How significant does your sin have to be in order for you to feel the need to repent?

Sin made its way into the human race through Adam and Eve. But before the foundations of the earth God knew that man would turn away from Him in sin, and God had a plan. The Lord gave us Jesus to die for our sins. One’s relationship with the Lord only comes about through accepting Jesus’ payment for sin.  That is grace. Our sins are forgiven in Jesus, no matter what our sin is. Jesus took all of them to the cross. That is huge!

Yet I came to realize that I need to take my day sin much more seriously as I read The Broken Way. Grace isn’t a free ticket to sin. When I sin, I need to take time to talk with the Lord about what I have done, admit my sinfulness and ask for forgiveness. Grace wasn’t cheap, it cost Jesus His life.

It comes down to this,when I sin, do I even consider that cost? I need to keep that cross at the forefront of my mind to help me remember the cost of my sin to Jesus and the incredible value of the grace He gives me.

If I am not living life with a heart of repentance, I probably have no part of grace in my days. What does that say about my relationship with the Lord? What does it say about my love for Him? Do I even recognize the cost?

The Broken Way has made me take this to heart. We often take sin lightly, a white lie here, an angry word, or lustful look. These may seem small compared to sins like murder, adultery, or perjury, but they were all a part of the reason why Jesus died on the cross. They all are the basis of our need for grace.

So, what does it mean day-to-day? For me it means being more aware of how I live, act, and speak. It means being aware of my sin as I commit them. I need to talk to the Lord and receive His grace into my heart and life moment-by-moment.

Sin separates us from God, it causes a distance in our relationship with the Lord. The Lord desires our relationship, it is why He sent Jesus. His grace is always available, He looks for us to come to Him with humble hearts of sorrow about our sins.

When we come to the throne of grace, we come to find deeper intimacy and depth of relationship with the Lord. It means that my heart grows more tender to the things that hurt my Heavenly Father. It means a deeper understanding of what grace really is, leading me to knowing abundant hope in Him who died for me.

Do you need grace in your life today? At this moment? It is so easy to overlook our sins, and as we do our hearts become hardened and insensitive to the Holy Spirit’s convicting us. Realizing the truth of the correlation between my recognition of my sinfulness, my bringing that sin before the Lord and the reality of His grace being poured into my life and my heart, has created a new yearning for a deeper relationship with Him. I guess it made me recognize all the more how desperately I need my Lord and Savior.

So, how about you? What are you doing with the sin in your life? Is your heart hardened to the reality of it? Or is your heart opened to the grace the Lord wants to pour over your sin? We have access to the throne of grace through Jesus, His blood paid the way. Does that truth have any effect on your life? These are all questions I had to ask myself. It is so easy to take it for granted. Is the cross just being a shiny piece of jewelry around your neck? It is so much more. How do you keep this truth flashing in your mind as a reminder of Who you are living for, and of Who you belong to?

Grace greater than all our sin, Thank you, Jesus.