We Need the Lord and Each Other

If someone asked you to describe the Lord and your experience of Him, What would you say?

How does that influence your interactions with others and how you respond to pain and difficulties?

Shadows are the result of something blocking the light. There are many things in life that cast a shadow on our faith and make us question the Lord’s goodness, His power, His timing, or His wisdom. Roman’s 8:38-39 tells us that nothing can separate us from God’s love. Yet, Satan wants us to live in the dark places, and to have shadows cast on God’s love and faithfulness so our faith is shaken and we question God. Satan wants us to tremble with fear and feel very alone.

The Lord desires us to fully know His love and to share that love and build community. He wants us to be empathetic, authentic, transparent, and real about what we feel and need. He wants His love to touch our pain and to help us grow. He wants us to grow to know Him and His love more deeply. He wants us to pour out our hearts to Him (Psalms 62:8).  He also wants us to make confession of our sin to one another (James 5:16).  He desires us to live in a community of love.

When we as Christians are limited in our experience of knowing the reality and magnitude of God’s love, we fail to share and express it. We all need the Lord, the blessings of His love and grace, and we need each other, but how should this flow and work in life? And, more importantly, is it happening to the extent and in the way the Lord desires, or do some changes need to take place?

The Word of God is filled with people struggling with sin, pain, and fear in real life issues. We read about people who cry out to the Lord in desperation like Elijah (1 Kings 17-19), Ezra, and the Israelites (Ezra 10), and David (Psalms 42, 43, 69). People who authentically confessed their weakness, sin, and neediness. It is in those places in the Bible, in those places of authenticity and transparency, that I feel safe and not alone. I feel a level of community with them because they share their hurt,  and raw emotions with the Lord and with others.

We know that we are a sinful, rebellious people living in a world filled with pain, sickness, evil, and trouble. We know there is a cavernous emptiness within. It is in Jesus that we find grace and acceptance.

Yet, there are so many lonely Christians with dark secrets that they fear sharing. So many afraid to step into our churches because, more than being preached at or judged, they need to feel love and acceptance. There are so many hurting people; deeply wounded by abandonment, rejection, lies, betrayal, loss, grief, death, living in depression, or with another mental illnesses. There are many whose stories are walled off within because of fear, they live in self-protection. People who see plastered on smiles and hear “I’m fine” and wonder, “what’s wrong with me?” People who hear verses handed out like prescriptions, spiritual Band Aids slapped ineffectively on gaping wounds. People who hear Christian platitudes; the way it should be, but know that this isn’t their experience in life or their experience of God. These are people who desperately need to feel and know the love of Jesus in real, practical ways, but they are not finding it.

These are issues I want to discuss, issues I want to look at. You see, I have been on both sides of this problem. I have been the needy, desperate one feeling totally alone and misunderstood, as I felt when I was deep in my depression and people questioned my faith. And I have been that Christian, who has shared an unhelpful Christian platitude and walked away not hearing the pain of another. I think that most of us can probably say we have experienced both sides.

Many of us have been needy and desperate at some time. We have needed empathy, understanding, or a listening ear from a caring person, or maybe something more tangible. Yet we may have struggled to feel safe in asking to have that need met, and so have been left alone in our pain. We fear sharing the reality of our neediness, we question the safety in being fully seen and heard just as we are. Many of us know the pain of loneliness, neediness, or just wanting to know acceptance and have belonging. We feel left out, not good enough or just separate and different.

And many of us also have given out a verse when a listening ear was needed.

What can we as people and we as a part of the “Christian community” do? The change begins in us as individuals.

My next three posts will focus on loneliness, acceptance, belonging, Christian platitudes, and spiritual Band-Aids. I hope you will join me each week.

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An Invitation to Celebrate Even in my Fear

Bekah Pogue shares in her book Choosing Real, “Choosing Real is opting to see how present Jesus is in real-life circumstances… Choosing Real trusts God has a beautiful plan in the mess, in the scary, in the unknown, in the tears, and in not feeling enough.”
Are you in one of those places? The mess? The scary? The tears? Or not feeling enough? Pogue suggests that we should shift our perspective from self to the Lord. She suggests that we look for His invitations in the midst of all that life brings. What invitation do you see the Lord offering you right now in the mess you are in? What invitation do you see the Lord offering you in the scary place life has you in? What invitation do you see the Lord offering you in the middle of the tears that are streaming down you face?
Is it an invitation for rest? Or hope? Or freedom? Or an invitation to choose to have a thankful heart? Or maybe it is an invitation to serve? What is He inviting to share with you?
I am finding the truth of Hosea, and how it is in the wilderness times the Lord allures us. He draws us in to teach us more of His love for us, He draws us in to speak to us. He wants to know us that much, to show us how He sees and hears us and knows our deepest pain, as well as what brings us the greatest joy. He wants us to celebrate His love and His nearness. He wants us to know more and more how we really can trust Him in the midst of whatever He has allowed. He wants us to know that we are not alone. He invites us to know Him in a new way. He invites us to snuggle in and find out what He has for us. Because He has exactly what we need. You see He knows what we have been wandering after, searching for, dreaming of, wishing for.
He knows the deepest yearning in the depths of our hearts and He desires to meet that need. He wants to fill that emptiness. He just wants us to trust Him enough to ask. He wants us to show that we really know He is present and able.
Emotional pain often makes you desire to run to find a way to not feel. It hits you at unexpected times and sends you reeling. So when the Lord comes and meets you in that pain, when you feel Him reaching for you, when you feel overwhelming fear and you know your trust is lacking, you suddenly find yourself at the edge. It feels like a crisis of sorts. Here you are face-to-face with the One Who can help, but you feel frozen in fear. He urges you to give Him your pain, to trust Him with it all. What will you do?
I was recently at that place. Tears came easily, unexpectedly, at the most inopportune times and I felt nauseous with upset. I felt so alone, but realized His nearness. Why had I separated myself, this painful part, and not given it and all the neediness to Him? Don’t I trust Him enough to give Him the pain? I hadn’t, but then I did, I gave it to Him. In fact, I took time to find a Bible verse for each part of the pain, ones that spoke to me of His love and nearness, verses that gave comfort. I gave Him all of the emptiness and ache. I asked Him to hold it. I fell asleep exhausted and dreamed of Him holding it, holding me in my pain. And now each time something triggers the pain, I tell myself Jesus is holding this, I am not alone, I don’t have to carry this alone. And it gives me joy. It gives me hope. It gives me rest.
Yes, I still feel the pain at times, but I feel His nearness with me in it. I read the verses of comfort. It is too easy to get buried in the painful feelings, and get lost in them. When I choose to stay there, I miss knowing Who He is and what He has for me. So now, I am beginning to learn to look for Him in the difficult places, I am learning to celebrate His nearness when celebrating seems like the last thing one might do.
It is easier to push the hard stuff away, or try your hardest to act tough and try not to need, just keep busy. But you can only do that for so long and then the pain starts screaming too loud and your ears bleeds and your heart aches. But in reality you really are not alone in it at all, the Lord is with you in and through it all.
The Lord wants us to reach and to follow and to trust, He is near. Celebrate His presence and His love in all of life.