Pouring Out the Hurt in Your Heart

What do you do with the pain, frustration, or anger in your heart?

Psalm 62:8 tells us that we should pour out our hearts to God. When I am feeling upset that is not what I consistently do. But I learned a very important lesson recently, a lesson worth sharing.

I got off the phone, I felt angry and resentful. I felt unappreciated and lost. I kept replaying the conversation in my head. I had an errand to run, but I quickly texted a friend telling her that I needed to talk.  She was unavailable. So, I got in my car and started on my 45 minute drive. As I drove I talked to the Lord, ranting and raving about how frustrated I felt. I told Him I was done, I was so upset.

He immediately spoke to my heart. I must say it wasn’t the comfort I wanted, instead, it was the truth necessary to help me in growing.

Looking back at what happened I realized how the Lord did not want me to pour out my heart to my close friend. He wanted me to tell Him! He had something important that I needed to hear. I still talked with my friend later and she helped me to feel loved and gave me the empathy I needed. I also called my pastor and explained the situation, giving him some background information. He helped me to gain better understanding of what was going on inside of my heart and talked with me about how to move forward. The Lord used both my friend and my pastor to help me and give me what I needed, but in His eyes it was most important that I first heard what He had to say.

I think we often miss out on hearing the truths that the Lord has for us because we so quickly run to others. Maybe we pick up the phone, or run to a neighborhood friend, or talk to a close family member. We share our feelings with others, rather than taking it to the Lord and miss what He has for us.

The truth He told me stung like a slap in the face and it brought me to tears, but it helped me to see why I had reacted as I did. The conversation on the phone triggered feeling memories from events in the past and my anger and hurt came from that place. I didn’t recognize it until the Lord helped me see it. My reaction was selfish and unloving because I was fully focused on what I felt and needed.

The Lord in His omniscience and wisdom knew exactly what it would take to make me see what was happening. And in shaking the foundations of my self-protective walls, the Lord unearthed more work in my heart that I need to be open to doing.

All of this has made me realize the great importance of taking my feelings, neediness, and emotional pain to the Lord in honesty, before I share it with another person. I realize now that the Lord may have a lesson to teach me, or He may want to bring something to my awareness that I have buried, or there could be any number of things He may want to share.

Sheila Walsh talks about sharing from the “cellar of your soul” when praying. I have been doing that sometimes in the morning, but things come up unexpectedly during the day that He also needs to hear about. And when I don’t go to Him I miss out on getting His take and hearing His wisdom.

I realize now that I need to take my reactions and responses to Him throughout the day and talk with Him about them. I may think I have it all under control, I may think I have a clear understanding of what is going on.  I may think I am fully justified in my anger and just be ready to quit. But the Lord sees the big picture, He knows the whole truth about each situation. He knows what I need in order to grow and in order to heal.

What have you buried in your heart that you need to talk with the Lord about?

What relationship is breaking because of hurt feelings and unforgiveness?

Take these to the Lord.

Pour out your heart to Him! And remember to wait for Him to speak to your heart. He knows exactly what we need no matter what the situation or circumstance. We need to take our struggles and desperation to Him. He is always waiting to hear from us and always ready to lead us in wisdom.

 

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An Invitation to Celebrate Even in my Fear

Bekah Pogue shares in her book Choosing Real, “Choosing Real is opting to see how present Jesus is in real-life circumstances… Choosing Real trusts God has a beautiful plan in the mess, in the scary, in the unknown, in the tears, and in not feeling enough.”
Are you in one of those places? The mess? The scary? The tears? Or not feeling enough? Pogue suggests that we should shift our perspective from self to the Lord. She suggests that we look for His invitations in the midst of all that life brings. What invitation do you see the Lord offering you right now in the mess you are in? What invitation do you see the Lord offering you in the scary place life has you in? What invitation do you see the Lord offering you in the middle of the tears that are streaming down you face?
Is it an invitation for rest? Or hope? Or freedom? Or an invitation to choose to have a thankful heart? Or maybe it is an invitation to serve? What is He inviting to share with you?
I am finding the truth of Hosea, and how it is in the wilderness times the Lord allures us. He draws us in to teach us more of His love for us, He draws us in to speak to us. He wants to know us that much, to show us how He sees and hears us and knows our deepest pain, as well as what brings us the greatest joy. He wants us to celebrate His love and His nearness. He wants us to know more and more how we really can trust Him in the midst of whatever He has allowed. He wants us to know that we are not alone. He invites us to know Him in a new way. He invites us to snuggle in and find out what He has for us. Because He has exactly what we need. You see He knows what we have been wandering after, searching for, dreaming of, wishing for.
He knows the deepest yearning in the depths of our hearts and He desires to meet that need. He wants to fill that emptiness. He just wants us to trust Him enough to ask. He wants us to show that we really know He is present and able.
Emotional pain often makes you desire to run to find a way to not feel. It hits you at unexpected times and sends you reeling. So when the Lord comes and meets you in that pain, when you feel Him reaching for you, when you feel overwhelming fear and you know your trust is lacking, you suddenly find yourself at the edge. It feels like a crisis of sorts. Here you are face-to-face with the One Who can help, but you feel frozen in fear. He urges you to give Him your pain, to trust Him with it all. What will you do?
I was recently at that place. Tears came easily, unexpectedly, at the most inopportune times and I felt nauseous with upset. I felt so alone, but realized His nearness. Why had I separated myself, this painful part, and not given it and all the neediness to Him? Don’t I trust Him enough to give Him the pain? I hadn’t, but then I did, I gave it to Him. In fact, I took time to find a Bible verse for each part of the pain, ones that spoke to me of His love and nearness, verses that gave comfort. I gave Him all of the emptiness and ache. I asked Him to hold it. I fell asleep exhausted and dreamed of Him holding it, holding me in my pain. And now each time something triggers the pain, I tell myself Jesus is holding this, I am not alone, I don’t have to carry this alone. And it gives me joy. It gives me hope. It gives me rest.
Yes, I still feel the pain at times, but I feel His nearness with me in it. I read the verses of comfort. It is too easy to get buried in the painful feelings, and get lost in them. When I choose to stay there, I miss knowing Who He is and what He has for me. So now, I am beginning to learn to look for Him in the difficult places, I am learning to celebrate His nearness when celebrating seems like the last thing one might do.
It is easier to push the hard stuff away, or try your hardest to act tough and try not to need, just keep busy. But you can only do that for so long and then the pain starts screaming too loud and your ears bleeds and your heart aches. But in reality you really are not alone in it at all, the Lord is with you in and through it all.
The Lord wants us to reach and to follow and to trust, He is near. Celebrate His presence and His love in all of life.